I have no idea what I'm doing, ever. It's growing on me, it really is. I don't know how long I can hold this baggage alone.

Nothing ever makes me smile as bright as you do. I'm not in love with you, I don't nearly like you, but you're still as close to perfect in my eyes as you can be. There's just something magnificent about you, and you never even give you credit. You deserve the best- better than what you think. Because you're amazing.

Normality

For all that is familiar is beauty,
what is unfamiliar is only beyond my eye.
That each minuet detail glistening in any given light,
Natural or man-made,
is a piece to a never-ending puzzle.
Normality.
What we see, everyday,
faces, hands, bodies.
Normality, it's not.
Beauty.
Beauty is the wide-eyed toddler,
imagination full of nonsense,
Bringing pure bliss to waiting in line.
Beauty is the naivety of everything wrong.
Beauty is raindrops and the greenery afterwards.
Smiles, laughter, birthday cake.
Beauty is humble talent,
Your words, your guitar, strung hand in hand.
Beauty is lack of normality,
Which everyone thinks they see.
Beauty is not knowing.
Beauty is what's left for tomorrow.
Beauty is your smile,
your dimples,
your eyes,
your hands.
Beauty is you, beauty is me,
beauty is everywhere.

Mindlessness

I know I just wrote, I know. I'm so upset at myself. Everything I've ever complained about, it's nothing, nothing at all. Cancer eats away at you, as does many other diseases, WHY is it my next door neighbor, an infant who had a brain tumor. That MONSTER can come back WHENEVER it pleases. My struggles are nothing, absolutely NOTHING compared to theirs. I envy their strength, in all the ways it comes. Physical, mental, emotional, and everything in between. Why do I have to complain, why. Nothing is thrown in my face as fast as this. Nothing shuts me down like this. So why is it that everything appears wrong in my world, when if I just woke up, I'd see I'm totally wrong. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Monster

I shall choke,
Choke
Choke on the words that I've said.
I shall run,
Run
Run to the place where I'll never be.
I shall prod,
Prod
Prod until the answer is given.
I shall ask,
Ask
Ask why it was you.

Why'd you have to leave?
Why'd you have to die?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why isn't it me with the tears,
Tears running from my eyes.


Shave my head,
Poke me, stick me,
Make me bleed, make me bruise.
Anything to keep it from you.

I don't want you to be eaten by this monster,
I don't want you to be eaten by this monster.



I'll save you, someday.
Someday you'll be saved.

It'll Just Go

Crack of thunder, I'm awake.
Next day, sunrise over the lake.
Times change with the turn of the Earth,
People change with the tune of the drum.
A hard angry hit, marching, marching.
Slow quite taps mask the screams.
I'll just go on walking, running,
Life'll just keep living.
People'll keep forgivin'.
The world keeps turning and the core
keeps burnin.
Life goes on, love goes on.
I'll keep learnin.

June 19th

You're the spitting image of perfection;
You bright up the sky.
For everything I'd ever wanted,
Like I'm living a lie.