June 19th

You're the spitting image of perfection;
You bright up the sky.
For everything I'd ever wanted,
Like I'm living a lie.

June 4th

I could sit here and listen to music and smile for the rest of my life. I'm teaching myself that I really need to be okay with life, because life is okay with me. I think I was proud of myself for the first time, just an hour(ish) ago, it felt nice. I wasn't doing anything big, or accomplishing anything. I just was there for someone. I have been in the past, but this time I feel like there was something different. I included everything I wanted to say without typing a huge paragraph of nonsense. It's confusing, but you'd understand the feeling if you were me. Somehow, some way, I need to gain the courage to tell my Mother everything. I'm sick of this ongoing battle with her, and I'll find that courage someday. Hopefully sooner than later. I have a lot of respect for people, and I realized that today. My brother is graduating in one week, on my birthday, and I'm singing at graduation. I'm going to ball my eyes out. He doesn't know this, I don't think anyone really knows how solid this is, but I'm so proud of him. Not because I HAVE to be, as his baby sister; but because I look up to him in every way, shape and form. I can't put it all into writing, but he pulled through after overcoming one of the worst struggles in his life. That takes strength and courage I have not even nearly obtained yet in my life. That's the biggest accomplishment I've ever thought of. Overcoming. All these are obsticles put in my way and I need to overcome.

Lost Thoughts

I have speech in mind,
Yet for some reason you're a blinking sign.
Telling me to turn around,
Constantly pulling me down.

Calling out for help, a silent scream,
As if you were here,
I'm just causing a scene.
The further I get the more I near,
Yet my foot stays on the peddle, I just steer.
Past the white flag, in which I hold.
My body aching, my heart so cold.

I'm getting sucked into your lost thoughts,
Sinking into your cruel torture.
Each word you say,
Each breath you breathe,
Somehow always leading back to me.

My conscience screams,
wrong way, wrong day.
It takes your thoughts,
Feeding them to what I know,
You're making me feel lower than low.
I fit into what you want,
A perfect piece for you to taunt.

My goal to get out seems far away,
It'll take more than this day.
Mind set straight, foot on the break.
I can't do it though, your power, your strength.
I'm the last peice of your puzzle,
You strap on my muzzle.

Change

I'd like to obtain the simple smile,
And sun kissed skin.
The rope swing, and big overflowing toy bins.
The hopeless heart,
Pouring with love.
The naivety of nature, helpless calling for an answer.
The wind changes everything,
Everything and me.