June 4th

I could sit here and listen to music and smile for the rest of my life. I'm teaching myself that I really need to be okay with life, because life is okay with me. I think I was proud of myself for the first time, just an hour(ish) ago, it felt nice. I wasn't doing anything big, or accomplishing anything. I just was there for someone. I have been in the past, but this time I feel like there was something different. I included everything I wanted to say without typing a huge paragraph of nonsense. It's confusing, but you'd understand the feeling if you were me. Somehow, some way, I need to gain the courage to tell my Mother everything. I'm sick of this ongoing battle with her, and I'll find that courage someday. Hopefully sooner than later. I have a lot of respect for people, and I realized that today. My brother is graduating in one week, on my birthday, and I'm singing at graduation. I'm going to ball my eyes out. He doesn't know this, I don't think anyone really knows how solid this is, but I'm so proud of him. Not because I HAVE to be, as his baby sister; but because I look up to him in every way, shape and form. I can't put it all into writing, but he pulled through after overcoming one of the worst struggles in his life. That takes strength and courage I have not even nearly obtained yet in my life. That's the biggest accomplishment I've ever thought of. Overcoming. All these are obsticles put in my way and I need to overcome.